International Women’s Day? - Blog
International Women’s Day? I’m slightly ashamed to admit that for many (many) years this particular celebration has been overlooked in favour of another. You see, the 8th March is my birthday and has always been about ME, with no room for some paltry little global focus on the women’s rights movement….
However, as I’ve got slightly longer in the tooth and my life has meandered across the years, I find myself in a far more reflective mood. Conversations with friends – and others - have made me reconsider who I am and what my place is. So this is where I have found myself, in my ponderings, as we celebrate IWD in 2023.
Women, of necessity, change. Far more than men. A man’s position in the world is far more stable, across a life that generally that sees him as an earner, a breadwinner, with a career that is expected to progress over the years. A woman’s role is far more complex. From a personal perspective, after a good education and a reasonable hope of a fulfilling job, once I married and started a family, my sense of self got subsumed. Everything became a role – Kieran and Fin’s mum, Ian’s wife…where had Jane disappeared to? The first time I can remember, during those years, of doing something for myself was when I started running, just before my fortieth birthday.
Once my role of ‘mum’ became less of a focus as the boys grew up and moved on with their own lives there came another huge change. We moved half way across the world to SE Asia and for the first time in my adult life I was financially dependent on another person. I felt even more invisible. I questioned what my purpose was – and really found no definitive answer.
On our return, when we set up home in Glasgow (and I joined an amazing running club btw) I had to cope with another transition. From part time hours (term time!) to trailing spouse I suddenly found myself in a full time job, where I was part of the management team with all the responsibility that that entails. I was also financially independent for the first time. I feel now that this is my time. I feel that I can become the person I want to be. It’s taken coming up on 55 years but I really believe I’m there.
It goes without saying that I wouldn’t have changed any of this (well, most of it!). I do feel incredibly fortunate that I was able to find a job that allowed me to be there as the boys grew up, and have a partner who worked incredibly hard to enable me not to have to work full time. But. That’s a lot to have given up, in terms of me. I’m lucky that I have found this purpose, this sense of who I am at this later stage of my life. I have friends of a similar age who have not found such peace, who are really struggling with what their purpose is now the family is grown.
International Women's Day is of course so much more important that one story. One pretty privileged story if I’m honest. But all the stories combine to make a movement. I for one, will take stock on the 8th March (over and above me me me obviously) and reflect on those that came before and those yet to come that are steadily making it easier to be a woman in this world.
Happy International Women’s Day.
Jane Whitaker